hell is a place on earth
by sharksandglitter
Summary: Noodle is having a hard time coping with reality after returning from hell. She can't seem to get close to anyone and is plagued by nightmares and violent panic attacks. Will she be able to regain control over herself and learn to trust those she once loved? Rated M for violence and language. Post phase 3. Traces of 2Nu if you squint.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Alright so this is going to be my first Gorillaz fic. Very Noodle centric with some traces of 2Nu (not entirely sure how much yet, but the ship is definitely not the point of this story). I am going to keep this at an M rating, due to language and violence. This story does take place in the house from "Do Ya Thing". It is about a year after the phase 3 story like and a month or two prior to this story, they just moved into the new house.**

 **Disclaimer: I obviously don't own these characters, yadda yadda.**

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A ghost roaming among the living; that's what she was, right? At least, that's what it felt like. The past year zipped by in a surreal, somewhat painful blur. Despite having returned to her supposed 'family', Noodle found it difficult to think of them as such. After all, judging by her replacement, they hadn't put much thought into her up until the more recent events.

As such, upon moving into a new home, the guitarist had more or less locked herself away in an attempt to avoid those who wronged her. Or more so, the man who had wronged her. Murdoc? What a joke. She could forgive his abandoning her. She could even forgive the disgusting display of her replacement. However, she could not forgive what he had done to all of them as a whole.

His abuse to 2D, his disregard for Russel as a whole, his drunken banter about how he had fantasized about a big search for the missing guitarist. Had he even made an attempt to rescue her, she certainly would have caught wind of it. Word travels fast in a place where souls are left to fester for eternity. It had taken her twelve years to discover he was nothing more than a selfish drunk.

Even now, his raspy voice sounded through the house, screeching about not being able to locate his whiskey. It was like nails on a chalkboard. Her emerald hues would shift about the dark space in her room. Soon enough, they were fixated upon a diminutive alarm clock across the room. 11:32. Why he was even awake this early in the day was beyond Noodle's comprehension. Sure enough, however, Noodle was positive a certain singer would check in on her within the next half hour. It was like clockwork.

She knew he was worried, but still couldn't fathom speaking to anyone in the house just yet. Noodle had not spoken a single word since hell. It wasn't that she couldn't talk, she simply didn't have anything to say. Occasionally, she would make her way to the roof at night, sitting in silence with gargantuan Russel. He had always been there for her. Even drifting out to see, he had managed to come to her aid. Like her, he was silent. She was convinced it was simply because his voice would be far too loud for the average human to handle.

A loud creek echoed through the house, alerting the girl to her figurative father's awakening. Noodle would sigh, sitting up in bed and staring at the door. It had been a few days since she had ventured downstairs for something to eat and the grumbling in her stomach was certainly becoming unbearable. She swallowed hard, before swinging her legs over the edge of the bed and tentatively touching her feet to the floor.

As of late, she had had a number of panic attacks, triggered by what would seem like the most minuscule of things. No matter, the last thing she needed was to risk being out and about and suffering one of those ridiculous attacks. Noodle was sure, after all she had been through, that her anxiety made sense. But she was too proud. To strong to ask for the help of those she used to hold dear.

As if her surroundings were completely alien, she moved slowly and carefully. Hesitant fingers wrap around the doorknob. Upon opening the door, Noodle would pop her head out and examine the cluttered hallway. Having decided the coast was clear, she tiptoed out of her room and carefully made her ascend down the stairs. But, when you have two messy, lazy men living in one house, it could be easier recognized as a landfill. Sure enough, her heel would make contact with a stray banana peel, causing her to fall the rest of the way down the staircase. What a cliche.

Noodle whimpered, her hand coming up to rub the back of her surely bruising skull. "Ow." At the bottom of the landing, was a pair of empty, black eyes staring down at her. Great. This was certainly not how she wanted this morning to go. Her own eyes would drift away from the ones staring at her, settling on only looking at his unusually long legs.

"You awright, lil' love?" 2D's head cocked to the side in question. He would crouch down, reaching his hand out to the small woman. Noodle would stare at the hand for a moment, before reluctantly taking it and allowing him to help her to her feet. "Are you hungry, I was finkin' 'bout orderin' somefin' for lunch."

She would nod her response and follow him the rest of the way down the seemingly endless second flight of stairs. Noodle would occasionally bobble or stumble, still dizzy from her fall. This would result in 2D's hand hovering about her shoulders in an attempt to steady her and be sure she would not slip again.

"Did you sleep awright?" Not entirely sure how to speak to her at this current point in time, he was attempted to make small talk. Still, she would only answer with something between a nod and a shrug. 2D would frown a bit at her.

"Oi, Dullard! 'Ave you seen the whiskey?!" Noodle and 2D would turn to look at the shouting bassist, Noodle rolling her eyes, and 2D taking a step back.

"Naw Muds. I 'aven't seen it. I fink we might be out." Murdoc would grumble at the singer's response, tossing the empty bottle in his hand at the wall across the room.

"That's fuckin' great. The hell am I 'spose to do all day?" His mismatched eyes would narrow, but soon enough fixate upon the girl at 2D's side. "Noodle love. Come t' join the livin'?"

Noodle would glare in response. It was followed by her pushing past him, her shoulder bumping into his rather roughly.

Murdoc's face would twist into a disgusted scowl. He turned back to the somewhat cowering singer. "The hell is 'er problem? Ain't like she's tired. She's been locked up for over a month, 'asn't she been?"

Had the singer known any better, he would have been convinced Murdoc was moderately concerned. 2D only carefully wormed against the wall, moving round Murdoc as slowly as he could. Anything could set the satanist off and the last thing he needed right now was a swift blow to the skull.

2D managed to make his way to the kitchen, immediately heading for his cell phone at the edge of the table. Noodle's head was thumped against the wooden surface, while her hand continuously worked to rub the back of her head.

"Noods? Is your head botherin' you?" She raised her head at him, somewhat flinching at the light. 2D fiddled inside his pocket and pulled out the one thing he always made sure to have on hand. The small orange bottle had become his biggest comfort in his lifetime. He would tip the bottle, allowing a couple of the small, white pills to fall into the palm of his other hand. "I fink you should take these."

Noodle was apprehensive at first, but eventually caved and extended an open hand to him. 2D placed the pills in her hand. He sidestepped around the table, till he arrived at the cabinet he knew had the glasses. Pulling out one, he quickly filled it water from the tap and placed it in front of her. His mouth was soon turned up in that dopey grin, provoking a small, almost unnoticeable smile from Noodle.

"Wut do you want t' eat? I was finkin' 'bout a pizza." The downside to their little group; Russel was really the only one who could cook. With his current situation, asking him to just stroll on in and make them something was unethical. As a result, she would nod her consent to the singer's idea. "You still don' eat meat, right?" Once more, she nodded at him.

While 2D dialed the number for the pizza place, Noodle opted to take the pills she had been given and then wander the house. It was still fairly alien to her, considering she did not go anywhere but her own room, the bathroom, and the kitchen. The house was much brighter than Kong. At this point, she found herself missing that poorly lit building atop the landfill.

As she continued through the unfamiliar hallways, Noodle found her stomach twisting into a knot. She hated this place, truly. It was a decent enough house, but it did not have the same feeling that their original home had.

Her hands would drag across one of the walls in the obscure hallway. It was grimy and unsettling; not that Kong was much cleaner, but it was special. The more she thought about the past, the more she could feel a hollow ache in her chest. Noodle found herself lying awake most nights, plagued by nightmares more often than not.

Had she been able to go back in time, she would have never gone back to Kong in search of the boys. In the beginning, Noodle had thought it better her than them. A part of her was convinced they would eventually come for her. They didn't. Four years later, she had managed to make her way back. And what had she returned to? Nothing. No home, no friends, not even her guitar. Of course, she had managed to get her hands on another acoustic, but it wasn't the same.

Nothing was.

These white walls were confining, seemingly endless, yet closing in on her. Small fingers came to grab tightly at her shirt, as her chest began to tighten. She felt her legs wobble and her breathing hard and labored. Not again. Not now.

Everything in her eyeline began to blur into one mess. When she could vaguely make out of a spot of blue amongst the white, Noodle found herself cursing lowly under her breath. There was a bone chilling crack of her knees against the floor. She could hear someone calling out to her, shaking her shoulders; but her vision had given out mere seconds ago.

What a way to start out the day.

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 **A/N: I know this chapter was a bit short, but it is more of a prologue and a test than anything. Thoughts and reviews would be appreciated!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Okay chapter 2. This one is definitely longer than the last one. Anyway, this one is actually more centered around 2D's confusion about everything. Idk, this chapter may be kind of boring? But I feel like it's a bit of a necessity.**

 **Anyway, read and review, please!**

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The room becomes completely littered with panicked screams and heavy breathing. Lengthy fingers work to wrap around small shoulders, as if the act of shaking will somehow managed to fix the situation. That was far from a logical solution.

2D had found his lower lip trembling, while black abyssal eyes stared down at Noodle. He could see the restless shifting of her eyes beneath heavy lids, which only seemed to intensify his concern. The singer wondered if she was even the slightest bit conscious.

He saw it only fit to continue speaking to her. "Noodle? Noods? Can ya hear me? C'mon please say somefin!" No matter how loud her was, she wouldn't respond. Why would she? It had been years since he heard her voice.

It took no time for Murdoc to hear the shrill panic and enter the scene of the crime. His eyes befell upon the figures on the floor. They were quick to narrow, while his upper lip twisted in a scowl at the singer. "The fuck 'appened, Faceache?"

Had the bassist been concern, he truly did not show it. The only emotion 2D could make out in his frantic state was Murdoc's rage. Did the man possess any sort of human emotion?

"I fink somefin's wrong Muds. She ain't movin'." As he spoke, 2D attempted to maintain some form of composure, not wishing to further upset the satanist. However, his shaky tone was quick to give away his emotion. He would make quick work of internally cursing himself and turning back to the matter at hand.

Murdoc lets out a frustrated groan, before crouching down and inspecting the girl held tightly in the singer's large hands. 2D is hesitant to even allow the other near her, but finds he has little choice. He can only sit by nervously, while Murdoc presses the back of his hand over her forehead and cheeks.

The raven haired man is quick to stand up again and shake his head. "She fainted, mate. It's not that big of a deal."

2D's head quickly snaps to Murdoc, perturbed at his trivial way of stating such a thing like it was the equivalent of saying the sky was blue. "Not that big o' deal?! Shouldn' we take 'er to a hospital or somefin?!"

"You really are stupid." Black and red optics snap down at the inconsolable male. The vein throbbing beneath green skin along Murdoc's neck was almost impossible to miss. He was angry. There was no doubt. "Do you know what kinda media attention that'll attract? The last thing we need is people snoppin' 'round our business. If we're gonna get attention, it's not gonna be for this bullshit."

While Murdoc seems to maintain a rather calm tone, his venom remained rather evident. It caused 2D to instinctively flinch. He wished for nothing more than for the bassist to disappear in that moment.

"I can take 'er there me self. I promise ya won' get involved." Had 2D ever chosen a time to beg, this would be it. It was a pathetic display, really; but one that seemed to be having some effect.

He could see Murdoc visibly mulling the idea over. There was a long daunting silence. The tension in the air was unmistakable. Soon enough, however, Murdoc would draw a long sigh of defeat. "Do whatever the fuck you want. Just don't go tossin' my name around."

Murdoc would turn on his heels and dismiss the entire thing with a small flick of the wrist. The last thing 2D could recall hearing from him was an agitated mumble about a drink.

As soon as the other was out of site, 2D returned his attention to Noodle. He made quick work of gathering her small frame up into his arms. Soon enough, his lanky frame was moving fast, locating both of their shoes, his wallet, and his phone. Soon enough, he was out the door, giving it no regard as it caused a loud slam to echo down the street.

Upon looking upward, he could see Russel staring down at the both of them with a concerned look on his face. "I'm takin' her to the hospital, Russ. I swear I'll ya what 'appened when we get back!" It was a strain on the vocal chords to shout at the overgrown drummer, but if anyone deserved some sort of explanation, it was Russel.

The giant man would nod, a somber look placed upon his dark features.

It took only a few moments to hail a cab and direct it toward the nearest hospital; the perks of being a celebrity. Normally, the singer was not very keen on abusing his star status. He was a simple soul, after all. But for once, he found himself more than thankful he was easy to recognize on the street.

He could hear the cab driver rambling one thing or another up front, but 2D's attention was only on Noodle. Sweat would bead off her uncharacteristically pale face, while her form would occasionally shudder. Each time it happened, his hold would only get title, as if keeping her warmer was a sure enough way to make her stop. Of course he had enough panic attacks of his own, but he hoped she wasn't experiencing the same discomfort he generally did. The sharp pain to the chest, the inability to breathe, the knotting of the stomach; it was all far too horrible to imagine someone he cared for experiencing such a thing.

Perhaps, Stuart Pot could be far too sensitive a soul; brought to tears by the mere proposition of losing one of his bandmates. Yet, he found himself becoming calmer with every passing second, a gloomy sort of understanding beginning to wash over him.

The rest of the drive was quiet. Only the occasional screeching of wheels, due to the driver's quick pace. 2D found himself staring down at Noodle, brushing stray, violet strands of hair out of her face. He had become so fixated upon this one task, he had not even noticed the taxi come to a halt. "We're here."

His gaze would move from Noodle, to the driver. "Fanks. 'Ow much do I owe ya?"

2D's hand would trail to his pocket, only to be halted by the driver raising his hand in protest. "It seemed like an emergency. I ain't gonna charge you. Now go on."

A large, dopey grin soon spread across the singer's face. In a world filled with greed and a general distrust for others, such acts of kindness were always a sure way to win him over. "Ya don' know 'ow much this means."

2D gather his unconscious bandmate up in his arms once more, tossed the driver one last wave, and began a sprint towards the large structure. Had it been a normal day, he certainly would have tripped three or four times by now. Running with such long limbs and shoes that were hardly ever tied was not the most practical of scenarios. Yet, his strides remained steady and unwavering.

The bright, red sign to the emergency room seemed farther and farther away, until he was finally right next to it. As he passed through the doors, 2D would ignore the whispers and stares he received from those in the waiting room.

 _"_ _Is that 2D?"_

 _"_ _You mean from Gorillaz? Didn't they disappear after their last album?"_

 _"_ _That's definitely him. His looks are unmistakeable."_

Gossip. It was the sort of thing that would have Noodle scrunching her nose and going on a tangent about today's consumerism and inability to think for themselves. God, they could have really used her mindset on Plastic Beach. The album would have been brilliant. Instead, she would return to chaos. All the while, dealing with her own inner turmoil. As a concerned friend, 2D was determined to get to the bottom of all of it.

The woman behind the desk nearly snapped her pen in half upon seeing them. She had to have been in her mid twenties; the type of girl who sits behind a desk, obnoxiously popping her gum and reading magazines all day. She was clearly just another person utterly dumbfounded and starstruck.

"Uh…. Uhm—" She continued to stammer on, her hands shaky and her chest heaving rather ridiculously.

"I'm sowry miss, but I 'ave to get me friend seen immediately." 2D's brows knitted together, rather impatiently waiting for the woman's small fit to end.

"Uh. . Right. Name please?" Her hands once again regained their grasp upon the pen she had previously disregarded.

"Noodle." 2D stated, matter-o-factly.

"Last name?" The woman raised a brow, as if silently judging 2D for not surrendering a legitimate name.

"Last name…" As far as 2D knew, Noodle didn't have any sort of real name and they never had a situation where it was necessary. His face contorts in thought for a moment, before he finally settled on a solution. "Hobbs."

It seemed logical enough, considering the nature of Noodle and Russel's relationship. If she were to use any of their last names, it would almost certainly be his.

"Noodle Hobbs?" Her brown eyes narrowed at the lanky man. "Everything is confidential here. You can give me a real name, you know."

"Noodle is 'er real name." 2D's patience was beginning to wear thin. Upon seeing the agitation in his features, the woman quickly dropped the argument and continued on with the forms.

"What happen to her?" She asked, her eyes now never leaving the clipboard and paper in front of her.

"She jus' collapsed, I fink." The conversation was quickly becoming monotonous. A simple question, followed by a simple answer. Wouldn't it be quicker to just take her back and deal with all of this later?

Upon finishing scribbling whatever she was on the form, the woman jammed her finger against a small black button attached to a speaker on her desk. "Do we 'ave any beds open? There's a girl here, twenty-one, unconscious due to unknown causes."

For the first time since having given her Noodle's name, the woman looked back up at 2D. "Someone will be out momentarily."

That 'momentarily' felt like forever. In reality, it had only been about thirty seconds before someone came to take Noodle from him. 2D followed closely behind, anxiety written upon his face. While it was true he never would have wanted to go to the hospital for something like this, in his mind, you could never be too careful when it came to someone else.

When asked if he would rather sit in the waiting room, he quickly assured the nurses that it would be better if someone was with her. No further questions had been asked.

He sat by in a chair close to her bed, watching as various nurses poked and pried at her. When one had insisted on giving Noodle and IV drip, 2D found himself worrying more than he had before. "Wa's she need that for?"

"She's dehydrated." The nurse continued her work without another word. Really, their atmosphere in this place and the attitude of it's staff did little quell 2D's anxieties.

His lengthy fingers would come to fidget in his lap. He hadn't even noticed his pounding migraine, until after the room had been deserted and he was left in silence. His hands would more to pat vigorously at his pockets, only to be disappointed when he discovered nothing but a cellphone and his wallet. _'Damn. Forgot me painkillers back home.'_

2D found himself looking around the room, attempting to settle on anything that would keep his mind off his headache. In the end, they would simply return to figure in the bed. She looked so weak. It was different from the girl he had known all those years. Noodle was a strong, proud person. Yet now, her body appeared fragile and broken.

He came drag his hands down his face, mumbling obscenities under his breath. "'Ow the hell did it come to this?"

Naturally, Murdoc would be the first person that came to mind. Certainly, all of their suffering had been the result of his actions, one way or another. The bassist cared little for his bandmates and was more than willing to cause them distress; so long as he would benefit from it. Their pain had truly been his gain.

However, 2D had little knowledge as to what happened to Noodle. Part of him was certain it had to have been the result of something Murdoc had done. The other part of him blamed himself. Both he and Russel had a bad feeling about the El Manana shoot. They just let her go.

He could still remember them insisting it was a bad idea. She had flashed them a wide grin, telling them that they worried far too much. That was the last time they had seen here. Murdoc had promised her safety. So why were they in this position now?

They had been a family. A dysfunctional one, but a family nonetheless. Noodle had been the innocence and joy of the group. She brought them a light that would more or less not exist, had she never come to them.

Now? She had been reduced to this. Her eyes no longer held the same passionate flicker they once had. The fiery and joy had been stomped out, leaving no trace of the girl they once loved.

She was a woman; worn and torn from years of experience he knew nothing about.

2D is soon enough pulled from his thoughts when the doctor enters the room. He was rather short and stout, wearing a large clinical type smile on his face. "I'm . It's nice to meet you Mr-"

The doctor looked at him for a moment, unsure of how to properly address the singer. "Pot. Stu Pot."

"Right. . I'd like to discuss Miss Hobbs for a moment." The doctor's smile seemed to lessen, old eyes drifting down to the chart in his hand. "She has an iron deficiency, on top of being severely dehydrated and underweight. Has she not been eating?"

2D shook his head, abyssal eyes falling into his lap. "She ain't been well. Won't come outta her room. I fink the last thing I saw her eat was a piece o' toast 'bout a week ago."

The doctor would nod at him. He then walked over to Noodle, carefully inspecting her. "I'm surprised she didn't end up here sooner. Fainting under such circumstances is far from unheard of."

"I don' fink tha's why she fainted, sir." 2D's face deepened into worry. "She was breathin' real fast an' funny before hand. I don' know what 'appened."

brought his hand to his chin, stroking it a bit in thought. "It sounds like she hyperventilated. When that happens, a person takes quick breaths, resulting in the decrease of carbon dioxide in the blood. Fainting is not uncommon when not given immediate attention. Has she suffered any emotional trauma as of late?"

"Not that I know of, honestly. She won' talk to me anymore. She's been really closed off, so I fink somefin's really wrong."

Another nod from the doctor.

God was this not helping anything.

"Unfortunately, we don't have anyone to do a mental evaluation on staff at the moment. However, I can refer you to a psychiatrist." The doctor offered 2D another large smile.

2D would simply return it with a shake of the head. "I don' fink she's gonna wanna talk to some stranger.

The doctor nodded in understanding. "Your best bet is to get her talking, then. Do you two live alone?"

The singer shook his head. "Naw. We've got two other...Roommates."

Another nod.

"This isn't any sort of medical opinion, just a personal one, but maybe you all should sit down and have a long talk, alright?" The doctor suggested. 2D nodded in agreement. The man would head for the door, offering the other me last smile. "I'll be checking in later, alright?"

"Awright."

It was quiet again. That is, until there was a small, almost inaudible sniffle. 2D's eyes widened, finding the small, trembling form atop the bed. She had managed to turn her back to him, successfully concealing her face.

"Noodle? Are you awake Lil' Love?" 2D stood, walking over to her and resting a hand upon her shoulder. She was quick to shrug it off. "Noods, please talk to me. I jus' wanna help."

"I don't want your help." The reply was raspy; be it from not having talked for so long or because it was choked out between what he assumed to be tears.

"If I've done somefin' to upset ya, I need to know."

There was the headache again, making his temples throb and his legs shake from pain.

Noodle slowly came to sit up, shaking her head at the other. "Y'you have not done anything. I just refuse-"

Her words came to a stop, emerald optics falling down into her own lap now. "What is it? Ya can tell me anyfing. I promise."

Her head shakes again. "I'm not ready to talk about it yet." Noodle's face scrunched up, as if a wave of tears were ready to flood out any moment.

2D was quick to bring her into a gentle hug. She had began a small protest, but soon relaxed and allowed him to hold her shaking form. She had not cried in front of anyone before. It made her feel pathetic. "It's awright lil' love. You can talk to me when ya feel ready."

Despite an age gap and having various different interest, they had been best friends at one time. He wanted nothing more than to show her that they could still have a bond like that. He wanted nothing more than to prove to her that he would be there through thick and thin. He was a dimwit, sure. But that didn't mean he had no knowledge of how to care about someone.

2D couldn't recall how long they had stayed like that. The room had been littered with Noodle's frantic sobs and the occasional soft cooing from the blue haired man. It was hours later that both had managed to fall asleep from exhaustion; two friends huddled together, as if letting go would result in losing one another again.


End file.
